There was something about getting to college that kind of primed me for changing my opinion on a lot of things. Some things that I thought I would never budge on, like the abortion issue, are things that I seemed to have been able to open my mind to, as in realizing what I can and can't change. But the abortion topic is something for another time.
As I enter my adult life, I increasingly find myself realizing more and more that I have to depend on myself more that I realized. Though I am not completely alone in my efforts to live alone, I have realized it's a more independent process than living at home and taking care of the family members who seem to just leech indiscriminately. Again, that is another topic for another time.
One thing I have noticed about myself growing up is that people tend to go one way or the other. They will either allow themselves to be open to being wrong and making a learning experience, or they will chose to remain egotistical and refuse to change their minds and insist that their way is right. I have tried to stay away from the egotistical side, even though I know that it is sometimes a little bit hard to resist. When you have been taught and trained to think a certain way or look in a certain perspective for so long, it's hard to part with your ego and open yourself up to being wrong. Humans naturally aren't comfortable with being wrong, but it's a part of growing. Sometimes, growing takes a little or a lot of humility.
Anyways, that's all that's on my mind for now. If you want to share your own growing experiences, then leave them in the comments below. I'm sure there are a lot of things that I've missed that I may cover in a future post.
April 11, 2012
February 24, 2012
Learning how to overcome the issues - Part 2.
There is still so much I could go on and on about in my quest to get people to understand all of the daily paradoxes I find myself in. But I will go ahead and continue to take a stab at being able to summarize my feelings.
Issue 3: The reason WHY I stay out of politics - So everyone who has stayed in the political field for any length of time can see that many people who are so-called "politically active" are really just using a handle to hide their irrational INSANITY. I mean, really. Has anyone noticed that when people "proclaim" a party or a side, they get irrational about the decisions and things going on with that side? As I have stated many times before, I am a moderate independent. I don't identify with ANY party and a lot of my views fall on the middle of the leftist/right wing spectrum. While I do not criticize people who think differently, I do say that this is what I think. I also know that I'm still straddling the fence about a lot of issues, but it's only a matter of time before both sides shoot me.
*A side note about a presidential opinion - To skip this, scroll down to the asterisks at the end*
Okay, so here is something I noticed that people are up in arms about. If so many people hate the President now, then how did he get his votes? Well, if I remember correctly, President Obama was running against Senator John McCain, who was known to the Senate and to most everyone who knew him as the "Maverick." Why was this? Well, Senator McCain had a reputation for voting AGAINST his party in things that he did not agree with. He didn't do much of the crowd following and "looking out for your own." I felt like with his record, he had a better idea of what was appropriate for legislating a country, rather than looking out for his party. Paired with the fact that he had more experience in legislation than President Obama did at the time, I felt like his personality and his record was more fitting for what the country needed. Then came his VP, which seemed to prove to be his all too fatal blow to his campaign. Though then-governor Sarah Palin was not the only reason that the McCain campaign flopped, it was a big part of the overall result. All of these things paired with his lack of charisma and his quiet demeanor when speaking seemed to tell the American people that he was not bold enough to be able to handle the business of running a country.
Then you had President Barack Obama. He was the bold, charismatic, outspoken Senator of Illinois that seemed to win over the country not just with his charisma and poise, but his all-too-famous campaign slogan that read "It's time for a change!" While all of these things seemed dandy and well, I was worried more about his actual belief system and his political stance. By far, Obama is actually one of the few Presidents the country has EVER had that has been so far to one side. His leftist ideals proved to be a little bit too much for my taste, and his stances on making any kind of abortion (to include partial-birth) available in all sates eventually turned me off of his campaign. Now the issue of abortion is something I can address later, but it was also paired with the fact that he had little legislation experience to be able to look back on, and that too many people were stuck in the hype of his being a "black president." Honestly? The country was not ready for a black president. Racism is still alive and well, as seen in many of the people calling for his impeachment and praying for his failure. I don't think that the country is really primed for a black leader for at least another couple of generations. As sad as that sounds, think of it this way. Racism was promoted and grown for generations and for centuries before my generation was even thought of. It has been less than a century since the major gains on legal racism were made. Do you really think that it can be eradicated within only one or two generations? There isn't enough time. What got the senator of Illinois elected is eventually what backfired on him. Because people have gotten used to the preconceived notions of "how blacks are," they have expected the impossible from such an inexperienced President and have essentially set him up for fail. I knew this would happen long before it did, and this is why I didn't want Obama in office. Not yet.
*Fin*
Issue 4: Learning to accept things and people I can't change - We have all done it. There are people in my life and everyone else's lives that have inevitably sparked the desire for someone to change them. For some, this person is a drug addict family member or an unhealthy friend and they both think that the way they are living and what they are doing is fine the way it is, even though they are very much in open denial. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be people with a very visible problem. It can be someone as simple as a spoiled brat who hurts the feelings of everyone around her due to her ungratefulness. No matter who or what this situation is, you're stuck with the fact that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, because the person doesn't want to change or because the situation is out of your control. I have learned that being able to cope with things that I can't change is better than trying to figure ways around it. But it doesn't make me any less frustrated when these problems arise again and again.
-To be continued
Issue 3: The reason WHY I stay out of politics - So everyone who has stayed in the political field for any length of time can see that many people who are so-called "politically active" are really just using a handle to hide their irrational INSANITY. I mean, really. Has anyone noticed that when people "proclaim" a party or a side, they get irrational about the decisions and things going on with that side? As I have stated many times before, I am a moderate independent. I don't identify with ANY party and a lot of my views fall on the middle of the leftist/right wing spectrum. While I do not criticize people who think differently, I do say that this is what I think. I also know that I'm still straddling the fence about a lot of issues, but it's only a matter of time before both sides shoot me.
*A side note about a presidential opinion - To skip this, scroll down to the asterisks at the end*
Okay, so here is something I noticed that people are up in arms about. If so many people hate the President now, then how did he get his votes? Well, if I remember correctly, President Obama was running against Senator John McCain, who was known to the Senate and to most everyone who knew him as the "Maverick." Why was this? Well, Senator McCain had a reputation for voting AGAINST his party in things that he did not agree with. He didn't do much of the crowd following and "looking out for your own." I felt like with his record, he had a better idea of what was appropriate for legislating a country, rather than looking out for his party. Paired with the fact that he had more experience in legislation than President Obama did at the time, I felt like his personality and his record was more fitting for what the country needed. Then came his VP, which seemed to prove to be his all too fatal blow to his campaign. Though then-governor Sarah Palin was not the only reason that the McCain campaign flopped, it was a big part of the overall result. All of these things paired with his lack of charisma and his quiet demeanor when speaking seemed to tell the American people that he was not bold enough to be able to handle the business of running a country.
Then you had President Barack Obama. He was the bold, charismatic, outspoken Senator of Illinois that seemed to win over the country not just with his charisma and poise, but his all-too-famous campaign slogan that read "It's time for a change!" While all of these things seemed dandy and well, I was worried more about his actual belief system and his political stance. By far, Obama is actually one of the few Presidents the country has EVER had that has been so far to one side. His leftist ideals proved to be a little bit too much for my taste, and his stances on making any kind of abortion (to include partial-birth) available in all sates eventually turned me off of his campaign. Now the issue of abortion is something I can address later, but it was also paired with the fact that he had little legislation experience to be able to look back on, and that too many people were stuck in the hype of his being a "black president." Honestly? The country was not ready for a black president. Racism is still alive and well, as seen in many of the people calling for his impeachment and praying for his failure. I don't think that the country is really primed for a black leader for at least another couple of generations. As sad as that sounds, think of it this way. Racism was promoted and grown for generations and for centuries before my generation was even thought of. It has been less than a century since the major gains on legal racism were made. Do you really think that it can be eradicated within only one or two generations? There isn't enough time. What got the senator of Illinois elected is eventually what backfired on him. Because people have gotten used to the preconceived notions of "how blacks are," they have expected the impossible from such an inexperienced President and have essentially set him up for fail. I knew this would happen long before it did, and this is why I didn't want Obama in office. Not yet.
*Fin*
Issue 4: Learning to accept things and people I can't change - We have all done it. There are people in my life and everyone else's lives that have inevitably sparked the desire for someone to change them. For some, this person is a drug addict family member or an unhealthy friend and they both think that the way they are living and what they are doing is fine the way it is, even though they are very much in open denial. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be people with a very visible problem. It can be someone as simple as a spoiled brat who hurts the feelings of everyone around her due to her ungratefulness. No matter who or what this situation is, you're stuck with the fact that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, because the person doesn't want to change or because the situation is out of your control. I have learned that being able to cope with things that I can't change is better than trying to figure ways around it. But it doesn't make me any less frustrated when these problems arise again and again.
-To be continued
February 21, 2012
Learning how to overcome the issues - Part 1.
All right. So now that I have deleted my Facebook and have had all week to show everyone what led me to that decision (see "On leaving the Social Network"), I am now able to blog a little more often about things that I feel are important for me to explain in depth.
This post is basically about my struggle in overcoming some of the main problems in my life. I know this sounds boring as all get out, but I feel like it's something I need to get off of my chest.
Issue 1: Trying to be open-minded while still maintaining my values - I am tempted to say that this is a very common problem with many people. When it comes to virtually no-win topics like abortion, religion, and politics, it doesn't pay to be a fence-sitter. You have people on both sides of the fence that want to shoot you for not joining their side. Basically, if you are not for them then you are against them. I actually hate this mentality because of the simple fact that BOTH sides normally tell you to be "open-minded" when they, in fact are displaying the exact opposite of what they are urging you to be while still trying to play it off as if it is what they say. Why do I hate open-mindedness? Because to be consistently open-minded is to be close-minded to having a solid opinion. Has anyone ever thought about that?
Issue 2: Trying to get others to understand the ACTUAL reason for social networking - The reason I left Facebook, as detailed in my last post, is that the original meaning of the site has been lost among almost all of its users, possibly including Zuckerburg himself. Social media has become more of a place to house one's personal life than it is to connect with someone you know. Why do I say that? There are so many examples around the internet that I couldn't even begin to cite. Example: "It was nice to see you at my birthday party last night, but did you have to take a picture of me doing a kegstand and post it on Facebook?"
The fact that younger members are even allowed in the first place, to me, is a big factor of a lot of the problems that politicians and hollywood figures alike campaign about. A big example is cyber bullying. While it's doubtful that childhood bullying will ever truly go away, it has been enabled and stimulated by the easy access that children and younger (sometimes older) teens have to the internet. It was easier to stifle in the days of dial up when one couldn't stay online for very long due to having tied up the phone lines. In those days, television addiction was still a prime campaign handle for many politicians. Now that times have changed and more can have better and faster access to the internet, television addiction has all but disappeared. Few even mention it anymore.
Being on a social networking site in which it is improbable to be able to track another's every move without standing directly over them allows others to be able to put on an anonymous front while feeling that they have the right to say things that would normally get them confronted in the real world. These "cyber-bullies", as they are commonly referred to, are known to most of the real world as "cowards", though it's notable that almost everyone who has spent a significant amount of time on the internet has resorted to getting "hot with the keyboard" at one point in time, if not many times. Don't believe me? Yahoo! article comment boards are a good starting (if not ending) place to find plenty of people who claim to be "mature adults" slinging mud and throwing unnecessary insults to people that they have never seen and probably never will. Imagine how many of these "mature adults" also roam social networking sites like Facebook and pass their influence onto the younger users. Scary thought, isn't it?
- To be continued.
This post is basically about my struggle in overcoming some of the main problems in my life. I know this sounds boring as all get out, but I feel like it's something I need to get off of my chest.
Issue 1: Trying to be open-minded while still maintaining my values - I am tempted to say that this is a very common problem with many people. When it comes to virtually no-win topics like abortion, religion, and politics, it doesn't pay to be a fence-sitter. You have people on both sides of the fence that want to shoot you for not joining their side. Basically, if you are not for them then you are against them. I actually hate this mentality because of the simple fact that BOTH sides normally tell you to be "open-minded" when they, in fact are displaying the exact opposite of what they are urging you to be while still trying to play it off as if it is what they say. Why do I hate open-mindedness? Because to be consistently open-minded is to be close-minded to having a solid opinion. Has anyone ever thought about that?
Issue 2: Trying to get others to understand the ACTUAL reason for social networking - The reason I left Facebook, as detailed in my last post, is that the original meaning of the site has been lost among almost all of its users, possibly including Zuckerburg himself. Social media has become more of a place to house one's personal life than it is to connect with someone you know. Why do I say that? There are so many examples around the internet that I couldn't even begin to cite. Example: "It was nice to see you at my birthday party last night, but did you have to take a picture of me doing a kegstand and post it on Facebook?"
The fact that younger members are even allowed in the first place, to me, is a big factor of a lot of the problems that politicians and hollywood figures alike campaign about. A big example is cyber bullying. While it's doubtful that childhood bullying will ever truly go away, it has been enabled and stimulated by the easy access that children and younger (sometimes older) teens have to the internet. It was easier to stifle in the days of dial up when one couldn't stay online for very long due to having tied up the phone lines. In those days, television addiction was still a prime campaign handle for many politicians. Now that times have changed and more can have better and faster access to the internet, television addiction has all but disappeared. Few even mention it anymore.
Being on a social networking site in which it is improbable to be able to track another's every move without standing directly over them allows others to be able to put on an anonymous front while feeling that they have the right to say things that would normally get them confronted in the real world. These "cyber-bullies", as they are commonly referred to, are known to most of the real world as "cowards", though it's notable that almost everyone who has spent a significant amount of time on the internet has resorted to getting "hot with the keyboard" at one point in time, if not many times. Don't believe me? Yahoo! article comment boards are a good starting (if not ending) place to find plenty of people who claim to be "mature adults" slinging mud and throwing unnecessary insults to people that they have never seen and probably never will. Imagine how many of these "mature adults" also roam social networking sites like Facebook and pass their influence onto the younger users. Scary thought, isn't it?
- To be continued.
February 10, 2012
On leaving the social network.
After a year being away from the blog atmosphere, I can't help but see a little bit of nostalgia going on in my mind. I am a little nervous about becoming a dedicated blogger, but I feel as though I will now have a little more control over what people hear and how they understand what is going on through my life.
My decision to leave Facebook was not a decision made in haste. It wasn't directly/indirectly connected to the "timeline" feature either. No. I am leaving Facebook because it has become little more than a distraction, an excuse to keep up with things that really are none of my business in the long run. It has changed from a way to find old friends into a way to probe into the deepest aspects of someone's life without fully being able to understand them for yourself. In other words, there is no need for Facebook, and I feel like a better person for being able to remind myself of that. Now I will not ask anyone to leave Facebook because of my own decisions, but here is some food for thought. With a new "download" feature that has become available on all pictures in Facebook, how many times do you think someone has stolen your likeness already? With all of the information that is present and available for you to fill out, how many people do you think know how many children you have, what their names are, how old they are, where you work, where you live, and what your phone number is? It's a lot to think about, and it was this thinking that led me to conclude that Facebook has done more harm than good.
Overall, it's a personal choice. I am leaving Facebook because of a decision I have made for myself, and I think that my reasons are not someone else's reasons. Maybe the pros of Facebook outweigh the cons for them. Maybe it's the other way around. But this blogger has made it clear that a social network has become a little bit too much about pettiness.
My decision to leave Facebook was not a decision made in haste. It wasn't directly/indirectly connected to the "timeline" feature either. No. I am leaving Facebook because it has become little more than a distraction, an excuse to keep up with things that really are none of my business in the long run. It has changed from a way to find old friends into a way to probe into the deepest aspects of someone's life without fully being able to understand them for yourself. In other words, there is no need for Facebook, and I feel like a better person for being able to remind myself of that. Now I will not ask anyone to leave Facebook because of my own decisions, but here is some food for thought. With a new "download" feature that has become available on all pictures in Facebook, how many times do you think someone has stolen your likeness already? With all of the information that is present and available for you to fill out, how many people do you think know how many children you have, what their names are, how old they are, where you work, where you live, and what your phone number is? It's a lot to think about, and it was this thinking that led me to conclude that Facebook has done more harm than good.
Overall, it's a personal choice. I am leaving Facebook because of a decision I have made for myself, and I think that my reasons are not someone else's reasons. Maybe the pros of Facebook outweigh the cons for them. Maybe it's the other way around. But this blogger has made it clear that a social network has become a little bit too much about pettiness.
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